A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring him another double martini. The bartender says, "look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long, but, you gotta tel me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home!!!!!!!!:)
A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."
"Why not?" asks the brain.
"You're already out of your head."
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog."
What is pink and fuzzy?
sometimes laughing can just divide the day up into moments......keep laughing even if no one knows why but you.